you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
