I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
