I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
