I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
