You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
