you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
