You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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