You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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