dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
