You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
