I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
They are going to name an STD after you.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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