Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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