I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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