I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
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