wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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