My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
