He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
BRING THE BAGELS
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
