i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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