me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
why is half of my head shaved?
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