I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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