My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
