My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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