I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
