i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
