the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
