why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
