i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
