erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
