ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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