I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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