I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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