Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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