well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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