im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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