if you like me you must not know who I am
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You need Xanax blowdarts
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
