i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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