The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
