wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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