he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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