I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
