I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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