like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
