eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
