So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
