Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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