the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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