You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
