Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
