Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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