For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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