? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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