i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
