i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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