Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
